Monday, September 21, 2009

I think I can....I think I can....

Have you ever felt like the little engine that could?  Of course you have!  Who hasn't?? ;-)  Well, I definitely feel like the poor little engine struggling at the bottom of the hill.  Actually, I feel more like the little engine that fell off the tracks and crashed and burned!  If I've learned one thing in DC so far, it is that graduate school at Georgetown University is tough...really tough.  I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park, but I didn't think I'd walk out of class feeling completely clueless as to what was just taught over the last three hours.  Here are my thoughts from a few hours ago:  "Franchise taxes?  Revenue vs. expenses?  Succession planning?  Inclusion management?  Could you run that by me one more time professor??  Dude, what did you say?? HUH???"  Yep, that's about what I was thinking tonight during class....just a big fat "huh?"  I just had a big fat question mark floating over my head.  If you've ever felt this way before when trying to learn something, you know how unbelievably frustrating it is.  I hadn't even been home from class five minutes and I was already emailing the professor asking for help.  I hope he is going to take pity on this poor little country mouse who knows NOTHING about business finance and inclusion management!  Even after reading and outlining each chapter ever so carefully, I still feel like I'm not "getting it". 

Of course after I finished emailing my professor I called home and cried to my mother with the hopes of her taking pity on her pitiful daughter, but all I got was "You need to adjust your attitude and not act so defeated after only three weeks of school.  Think of yourself as the little engine that could!"  Normally my first instict would be to scream when she came out with the ol' little engine that could line (how many times have we all heard that one!), but for some reason this time it actually was comforting and encouraging.  OK, so maybe I feel lost and stupid right now, but this is graduate school and it's not supposed to be easy.  Maybe I'm having trouble and don't like admitting it, but that's just life.  So, I have decided to take the little engine that could theory and truly put it to the test!  A little cheesy maybe, but at this point I'm willing to be the cheesiest of cheeses if it will keep me from flunking out of grad school!  Every day I am going to wake up and tell myself "I think I can, I think I can...I know I can!"  And every day I'm going to envision my little engine inching it's way closer to the top of the hill.  Yes, I am going to be taking this inches, not feet!  I'm also going straight to Barnes & Noble tomorrow and buying every "for dummies" book I can find on business finance, taxes, budgeting, human resources, succession planning, etc!  My textbooks aren't going to cut it...they aren't exactly written in "dummy" format with an index of key terms in the back. ;-) 

OK, now that I've had a good cry and felt really sorry for myself and blogged about it I'm going to go to bed and wake up tomorrow a positive little engine.  I think I can...I think I can....and I hope you think I can too! :-)

Night night!


  1. Good morning, Little Engine ! Of course you can, of course you can, of course you can. LIsten to the wheels of the little train: of course I can, of course I can, of course I can...I have been where you are and I know how frightening it can be. My first week or so of graduate school I had no clue. Then there was law school, and talk about a lost ball in high weeds ! That was me. But you know I was too stubborn to admit I didn't think I could do it. There was so much I didn't understand, even after it was explained to me. I felt like I waas the dumbest person in the class....every class. But I refused to quit. There are classes I took which I still have no clue about. You just keep thinking, "of course I can, of course I can, of course I can."

  2. You can do it!! I know you can too. I know it is terribly difficult to be so far away but you wouldn't have done this if YOU didn't KNOW you could do it all along - we all believe in you and I can't wait to read the future post about the Georgetown Grad!